Many people sincerely want to help someone, especially a friend, during the time of grief. There are times that words just do not fit the sad occasion, and words fail, too, when it comes to expressing comfort. For a friend who needs comfort, people tend to stammer for the right words to say. On the other hand, other people choose to say nothing or do nothing because they are afraid to say the wrong message. Sometimes it is best to do nothing at all rather than to speak the wrong words. However, there are some things that you can do as a friend to someone who is grieving.
Show Love and Concern
More than anything else, what a grieving friend needs during this time of grief and sadness is the love from the people who truly care. By being there and by listening to his or her grief, you can show your sincere love and let them know that they are in your thoughts and prayers. You may not have the answers to their questions, but by giving your time to listen, things will be a little better.
Be Present
Your presence may not be required but by simply being there through this time of grief, your friend will have someone to lean on. Losing a loved one can be so much painful, and this sad event may weaken a friend. With you around as a friend who shows concern, you can be a source of strength. Even if it seems that the pain does not go away, it will be easier for a person to cope up and heal when family and friends are around.
When you intend to be present to support a friend, make sure that your presence will not disappear even after the first month or in the following months. Your friend will surely need a company as he or she tries to cope up and recover from the painful loss.
Offer Support
Whether it is financial needs or practical support, you can help ease out the hardship when you offer support to a grieving friend. Things may go totally different for someone whose deceased loved one used to handle everything for them. With your support of practical things, even on little things, you will help lighten up the burden of a friend. Some of the things that you can do for a grieving friend is helping him or her out with the pets or with the household chores.
Reach Out
Reaching out is another way of helping a grieving friend cope up with the pain of losing a loved one. Some people tend to be distressed and frustrated as they feel that they are left alone helpless and uncertain of the future. Grief can also be disabling for someone who is not ready to lose a loved one. Throughout this time of difficulty, reaching out to a friend will make the pain bearable. Reaching out may mean actions, like joining the person while listening to music or share some of your snacks.
Understand the Person
It is expected that a grieving friend is not physically, mentally, and emotionally fine at the time of the funeral. Even after a month or two, you can never expect someone to feel alright. In fact, a person will not be fine for a long time after losing a loved one. It takes time to heal and be completely relieved from such pain. Being a friend, there is nothing you can do but understand the person and acknowledge that a part of the person is already empty.
Share Good Memories
If you have good memories of the deceased person, this is the best time to share them with a grieving friend. Tell stories of how you met the person or how the person inspired you or touched your soul in a positive way. By doing so, you will encourage a friend to do the same and feel better. On the other hand, if your friend still feels a little reluctant and hesitant to tell stories, never force the person. Time will come for your friend to finally speak up and share sentiments, especially if you always reach out.
Don’t Be forgetful
Because grief has no timetable, the pain may not subside even after a year or years. For a friend who recently lost a loved one, it will be a comfort if you will remember all the important dates and occasions in the life of your friend. Important dates may include the death anniversary of the family members who passed away, the birthdate of your friend, holidays, and wedding anniversary. By being there and by sending your warm and heartfelt greetings, these thoughtful gestures will really help in any way.
Send Something
Anything that will make your friend feel special and loved will help relieve the pain. Funeral Flowers and gifts are among the thoughtful things to send, especially if you don’t know the words to say. However, it is best to ask for a florist’s recommendation so that you will not send the wrong message.
Cooked meals and baskets of sweet treats or fresh fruits are also ideal, not only to help a friend in time of grief but also to encourage the person to take care of herself. When it comes to helping a friend cope up and recover from grief for the passing away of a loved one, the options and ways are endless.
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No one in Lanyue and Yuezhou has ever advanced to become a god.
