Can You Attend A Funeral Before The Wedding?

There are a lot of common superstitions and beliefs in the Chinese tradition that is passed on from one generation to the next. These superstitions are often strictly followed to avoid bad luck and tragedies that are direct consequences if one fails to follow the beliefs. One of them is the practice of avoiding the attendance or even cancellation of a wedding of either someone attends a funeral or one of the relatives of the couple dies before the big day. This belief has been upheld to show respect to the person who died as well as avoiding bad luck to enter the new life of the couple.

Is this tradition really relevant until today? How many people are still practicing this old belief, and does it really bring bad luck to the couple? The answer is really customary if disobeying this belief has affected the marriage, but more people are leaning towards following the superstition for precautionary measures and to also show respect to the elderly people who uphold this common belief.

1. If the parents of the bride and grooms pass away, the wedding must be postponed for 100 days

This belief is widespread in Chinese tradition. The parents of the bride and groom are a few of the most important guests in the wedding as they bless the couple and allow them to share a life together. Even if the couple has spent time arranging and planning for the wedding, if one of their parents die before the celebration, the ceremony must be postponed for at least 100 days to show respect to the untimely death of the parent. This is also enough time for mourning and to show love and care to the deceased before all other celebrations. This is not only practiced in Chinese tradition but even on other religions and sects.

2. A guest must not attend a funeral before attending a wedding

This is also a common Chinese belief that one must always remember. It is believed that if you are planning to go to a wedding and it so happened that a friend or relative of yours died, you must consider canceling your attendance at the wedding and attend the funeral instead. Whether the couple is a close friend or relative, their wedding is still less important than the end of someone’s life. People still consider the funeral to be in priority than the wedding to offer respect to the dead person. You can still celebrate with the couple in their coming anniversaries and they can totally understand that you are mourning for someone. It is also believed that if you still insist to attend the wedding after attending the funeral, bad luck might get to the couple, cause unnecessary quarrels and problems, and worse, might lead to divorce.

3. The couple must not attend any funeral or a person in confinement three months before and after the wedding

Another common Chinese superstition is that the couple must not attend any funeral or a person in confinement three months before and after their wedding. Attending a funeral might cause a mix up of good and bad luck and can penetrate their early marriage. Couples are warned by elderly people to refuse attending funerals and are being passed on to their children and family and friends. If one of the couple’s friends and relatives is in confinement in a hospital, whether from sickness or labor, they should apologize from attending within the six month period as it may cause bad luck to the couple and affect their early marriage.

4. The couple must not attend any wedding three months before and after the wedding

Some couple goes wedding-hopping before their own big day to get tips on the wedding ceremony and reception and actually see the wedding happen before their eyes and form a checklist of do’s and don’ts to make sure their own wedding won’t do the same mistakes. Well, for Chinese belief, this is not the case. Most people believe that couples must not attend any wedding three months before and after their big day. It is believed that doing this might clash the luck of the wedding they are attending and their own.

These Chinese traditions are practiced to express respect and avoid the spring of bad luck to the marriage. People who are also familiar with these beliefs will understand one’s circumstances if they fail to commit to and attend the wedding celebration. Some people who do not believe to such superstitions must still inform the couple if they have attended a funeral to get their opinion if they should still attend the wedding or not. If the couple is traditional, then they would impose stricter measures to satisfy their beliefs. On the other hand, if they are non-believers to such traditions, you may just attend the wedding and just cross your fingers that it will not affect the wedding at all.

Some people follow these traditions, but the time frame is quite different and is solely depending on how religious or superstitious the couple or their parents are. Three months before and after is quite a long time and some couples usually adjust it to a month or two – as long as they follow the tradition at hand.

Weddings and funerals are both very sacred and important in Chinese tradition. Each must be well-respected and has their own beliefs and superstitions that Chinese people are meant to follow. In modern times, it all depends on the strength of belief that the couple or their families have. The more important thing is to show respect to both events and know that good and bad luck are existing even in the present times and can affect the families of the couple and even the bereaved. These traditions have lived through the ages and will do so in the coming generations. Time will only tell if they are really true.