A marriage is a noble act of worship if it is done with the right intentions. Death is a phase that comes in everyone’s life. Many people believe in superstitions and are confused about whether to postpone a marriage at the death of a family member or not. The answer to this question is vary from person to person, society to society, and culture to culture. Postponing a marriage ceremony is a gesture to show respect to the deceased one and to show care, love or sorrow. But you can show your respect through other ways like going to the funeral, presenting sympathy flowers to the close family members of the deceased. Different religions have different views, and rules on this situation.
According to Cultural beliefs in Singapore:
In the context of different and contradicting cultures in Singapore’s some cultures or religions say it is believed that there is no law to postpone the wedding because of the death of a close relative, they say that marriage could be postponed only for the exception of the widow there is no other situation in which a person has to postpone the wedding. There are many examples in which the person got married within the 40 days after his wife’s death. According to these beliefs, marriage is not prohibited because of someone’s death but the emotions, sorrow, and situation of the family should be considered. It is preferable to get permission from the close and elder relatives or it is best to wait for some time.
Cultures Where it is recommended:
In some cultures, it is recommended to postpone the marriage for some time as the time period of the death of a close relative is the period of sorrow and grief. Some people believe that the desires of the dead person that were not fulfilled have some impact on the house in which he was living and that why it is necessary to postpone the marriage to keep yourself away from bad luck. Some people believe that there remains a subtle existence of the dead person in the house for a period of time and if the groom has a blood relation with the deceased then he will be affected even he is living in another house or even in another country. According to spiritual research, the relative and close friend is not the same in affecting the marriage life even if we have a strong emotional bond with a friend then relative. It is said that if a family member of the dead person marries someone within a year then the spirit of the dead person will affect them emotionally in the form of stress, distress, etc. Some people believe that if the dead person was in stress or was not happy with this world then all the guests that will attend the marriage ceremony will also be affected and according to these cultures, no function or ceremony should be planned for minimum one year after the death of a close relative.
According to some cultures, the marriage should be postponed and after the death of a close relative, the groom and the bride must go through a sequence of rites and rituals to protect themselves from bad luck and evils. This sequence of rituals is done according to on their specified dates and it may take a year or more. It is said that these dates were specified by their ancestors and should strictly be followed to gain energy and good luck and to live an evil free life.
In some cultures, the prohibited time period is different for the different family members. According to their belief, the time period after the death of the father of the groom or bride is one year while the time period is 6 months for the death of their mother. The prohibited time for other family members is about 15 days. The time period for the grandparents is the same as the other family members. In this specified time period all the ceremonies like marriage, housewarming, engagement, birthday celebrations are not allowed but after the specified time period these ceremonies could be done.
Cultures Where Marriage is Not cancelled:
In some cultures, there is a ritual in which the groom and bride’s parents fix a date of the wedding and after the exchange of gifts and sweets, the groom and the bride are prohibited to meet each other. According to them after this ritual the marriage cannot be canceled and if accidentally or by some natural causes if any family member dies then the marriage is not postponed but the job is done as simple as possible without any music or other unnecessary rituals. The guests have lunch or dinner and the meal should not include any sweets as sweets are the symbol of happiness. The necessary rituals are followed to welcome the bride in a quiet manner without any loud music or something. The groom and bride are not allowed to attend the funeral if the deceased is their mother or father as it is considered to invite bad luck and they can only pay tribute or visit the last resting place after their marriage ceremony is done.
Some people don’t postpone their marriage because of the reasons that the deceased is a family member but they were not close to them, or they have paid a large non-refundable amount to arrange a marriage ceremony and they cannot afford to cancel the marriage and then pay for it again. If a person does not postpone the marriage, then it is necessary that the marriage ceremony should be quite simple, and a few guests should be invited.
It is possible that the marriage ceremony may lower your grief for the deceased. The marriage ceremony can help the family members of the deceased to come out from the stress and sorrow and will give a start to carry on the journey of life as it was before. The marriage ceremony will provide you with a gathering that will not be directly related to the death and will help you and the guest to come out from the grief.